March 05 2026 at 03:45AM
Emotional Regulation at the Senior Leadership: The 3R Tool
Last month, we explored awareness and presence as foundational tools in your PM's mental‑health toolkit. This month, we move beyond awareness to purposeful regulation under pressure at the senior-leadership level. In a recent Harvard Business Review article by Jeffrey Yip and Jon Gruda**, leaders with anxious or avoidant tendencies can unintentionally destabilize teams and slow collaboration. Their research highlights a three-step approach called 3R: Regulate, Relate, Reason, designed to help leaders stay steady and effective, even in high-stakes situations.
The 3R process mirrors how our brains function under stress. It is based on a framework developed by Bruce Perry, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist specializing in attachment and brain development. And so, when tension rises, and thinking narrows:
Regulate first: pause, notice bodily tension, and let your internal state settle before responding. Then Relate: connect with colleagues through attuned listening and acknowledgment to create space for honest exchange without conceding. And finally, Reason: once calm and connected, approach decisions with clarity, weighing options thoughtfully and intentionally.
As a senior leader, your expertise gives you strategic insight, but 3R adds emotional grounding to your toolkit. By grounding, a leader can navigate complexity with calm confidence and channel emotion into intentional action instead of reaction.
Now, fellow PM, you have a new tool in your leadership toolkit of emotional regulation. Don’t spare it and thank me later. :)
**How to Manage an Insecure Leader. Dritjon & Jeffrey. 2026. Harvard Business Review: https://hbr.org/2026/03/how-to-manage-an-insecure-leader?tpcc=orgsocial_edit&utm_campaign=hbr&utm_medium=social&utm_source=instagram&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAdGRleAP3MSJleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA8xMjQwMjQ1NzQyODc0MTQAAaeEYPE5rJ6XVZIb1lTVx1mL1DtFaRZPd7A7jiEkL_UyqLjA5AxCU0LmJ7qmDg_aem_gqFr3EplmrKhSG_PDtEl5Q
Have you had a tough sprint? Write to us at: editor@pmi-nl
Author’s Bio
Sara is a project management professional with experience in institutional and digital transformation projects. She is particularly interested in the intersection of mental health and leadership in complex project environments.
Newsletter Editor’s Note: At PMI Netherlands, we believe that strong project outcomes start with healthy people, and mental health is an essential part of sustainable project management. We invite you to contribute your insights, habits, and personal experiences on maintaining balance in high-pressure environments. Reach out to us at editor@pmi-nl.nl.
