Chapter News

One of my strengths as a project manager is staying relaxed under pressure. Over the years, it’s helped steer teams through chaos, kept stakeholders calm, and created a sense of control even when the path was rocky. It’s part of my brand - and usually, it works.

But once, it didn’t.

I was managing a complex project that was struggling to meet its timeline. Delays were emerging from multiple sides - dependencies slipping, technical unknowns, some unexpected team turnover. I did what any PM would do: reported in my weekly updates, raised risks in 1:1s, and brought it to the program board. The information was there.

Yet the sponsor was surprised when I officially reported that we would not meet the planned delivery date.

Their reaction?
“But… everything seemed fine. You didn’t seem worried.”

And there it was. My relaxed demeanor - meant to project control - had quietly sent the opposite signal: no need to worry. The irony? I was worried. That’s why I’d been communicating the risk. But because I didn’t look worried, the message didn’t land.

What I Learned

• Communication isn’t just content - it’s tone. Saying “we’re slipping” in a calm, composed tone might not register as urgent. Body language, tone, and emphasis matter more than I thought, especially in leadership updates.
• Not all stakeholders interpret data the same way. Some need more emotional cues to fully absorb the message. Just reporting isn’t enough. I now explicitly ask, “Do you see this as a serious risk?” and make space for discussion.
• Being calm is a strength, but clarity is a responsibility. I still stay composed, but when something is truly off track, I’m more deliberate about signaling it. Sometimes that means saying the words: “This is not going to plan, and I am concerned.”

The Takeaway

Your strengths can become your pitfalls when they’re not adapted to the situation. I still believe in calm leadership. But I’ve learned that staying relaxed doesn’t mean staying silent about impact.

Now, I balance calm with candor - and make sure my message doesn’t just land in the inbox, but actually resonates in the room.

Ready to share your Fabulous Failure? Email us at editor@pmi-nl.nl with a brief summary, or simply say, “I’ve got one!” and we will help you share your story.